Murder on the Sinful Express Read online

  “What did the fire investigators say?”

  “There were none. Old Man Miller was going to tear the barn down anyway. He didn’t claim insurance or anything, and Ida Belle got out in time, so there wasn’t a crime to investigate.”

  “I bet Trixi did it,” Cookie said. “Hid there and put something down, then came back when Ida Belle was there and tripped over the heater. Said she did it by accident. Accident, my butt. She hated Ida Belle. Always has. She was in love with Walter and Ida Belle was in the way.”

  “How’d you know that?” Gertie asked. “I never knew. Even Ida Belle doesn’t know.”

  “I told you. I hear things when people think I can’t. And Trixi always had a mean streak. I was her teacher way back when. She’d do things, then act all innocent.” Cookie grabbed her cane and swiped Gertie with it. “Now leave me alone. I want to finish my cigarette in silence. And don’t you dare tell anyone I worked with you two. Might hinder my ‘secret powers.’”

  “What?” I screamed. “I haven’t heard a word you said all afternoon.”

  Cookie’s lip quivered as she tried to suppress her smile. “Smart aleck.”

  Gertie and I hurried up the library stairs. It was all starting to make sense to me. “I remember Trixi saying that she’d maimed Ida Belle more than once with her clumsiness.”

  Gertie nodded, rubbing her thigh where Cookie’s cane had struck her. “Once Ida Belle broke her arm when Trixi fell down a flight of stairs and grabbed onto her.”

  “Maybe she wanted to make it seem like she was accident prone,” I said. “Especially if she had it out for Ida Belle. Maybe she tried to kill Ida Belle that day.”

  The door to the library opened and Walter stepped out. He held up the vial of antifreeze that was in Madigan’s purse. “What do you want me to do with this?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  DEAR DIARY,

  If Ida Belle doesn’t drink that sweet tea, I’m going to have to pour it down her throat myself. Why doesn’t she just drink it and die already?

  Trixi cleared her throat. “Ida Belle,” she said softly, “maybe you could think clearer with some liquid in you. You look dehydrated.”

  Trixi held up her tea glass in a toast. “To your health.”

  Ida Belle placed her hand on the glass.

  Yes, just drink it and in two days when your organs have all turned to mush and you die, Walter will be mine.

  Chapter Fifteen

  WE RACED INTO THE LIBRARY, ignoring Lucy’s admonition to stop running, and tore into the community room. Ida Belle held the sweet tea glass in her hand.

  “Don’t drink that, Ida Belle!” Gertie and I yelled out.

  “What in the world?” Mindy said.

  Ida Belle looked over at us. “I haven’t had any, why?”

  A thought popped into my head as I watched Trixi drinking her own tea, a look of innocence on her face. “Because I know how you feel about drinking out of other people’s glasses. I accidentally switched your tea glass with someone else’s.” I looked at Trixi. “Trixi’s drinking yours.”

  Trixi’s eyes widened. She spat a mouthful of tea all over the table and screamed, throwing the glass aside, causing it to shatter against the wall.

  “I think we have our answer,” Gertie said.

  Ida Belle set her glass down, shock taking over her face.

  “Call an ambulance!” Trixi screamed. “Call 9-1-1. Now! Somebody call!”

  “What did you put in my tea?” Ida Belle asked Trixi.

  Gertie held up the vial of antifreeze. “What’s sweet and green and deadly all over?”

  Mindy grabbed her phone to call, but I stopped her. “She’s okay. I didn’t switch them.”

  Gertie looked at Ida Belle. “But we need to save your tea as evidence.”

  Ida Belle’s eyes narrowed into slits as she glowered at Trixi. “You tried to kill me?”

  “Of course not.” Trixi looked at the vial of antifreeze in Gertie’s hand. “Where did you get that?”

  “From Madigan’s purse, where you planted it,” Gertie said.

  Madigan gasped.

  “You two were in the break room,” I said. “You pretended to have an accident with the coffeepot. Then klutzy you knocked Madigan’s purse to the ground and you slipped the vial inside it. But you’ve been using your supposed clumsiness to cover up quite a lot of things, haven’t you? Like setting fire to Miller’s barn.”

  Ida Belle’s jaw dropped. “What?”

  Trixi shook her head. “That fire was an accident.”

  Gertie’s eyes bore into Trixi. “Yeah, like all those other ‘accidents’ you had around Ida Belle. Funny how she was the only one getting hurt.”

  “That’s crazy,” Trixi said. She looked at all the stunned faces in the room. “They’re talking crazy.”

  “You hid at the barn earlier that day ten years ago,” I said. “Shelley Gaudet heard a peculiar sneeze coming from one of the stalls. That was you, wasn’t it? You were hiding, waiting for Shelley to leave so you could splash some accelerant around. Then you came back later, when Ida Belle was there, and staged an accident with the space heater. The space heater that you probably turned on yourself.”

  “But Anna remembered what Shelley told the paper about your sneeze,” Gertie added. “Shelley was wearing her comfrey salve that day, the same salve Anna was wearing when you had your sneezing fit. You knew Anna would put two and two together, so you needed to get rid of her first before you turned your sights back on Ida Belle.”

  Mindy’s hand flew up to her mouth. Her face ashen. “Shelley died under mysterious circumstances, didn’t she?”

  Trixi looked from woman to woman. “This is crazy. Now they’re trying to blame me for killing Shelley?”

  Ida Belle looked up at the board. “That’s what’s been bothering me. I saw your name all over that board. Funny how you were a witness to so many things.”

  “Yep,” I said. “You were a witness because you were there as well. You broke into Anna’s house the day before she became ill and switched slices of cake. Your squeaky shoes gave you away.”

  “Says who?” Trixi said defiantly.

  Gertie smiled. “An anonymous tip. Someone who was in Anna’s backyard stealing her tomatoes.”

  Madigan stood and pointed to Trixi. “And you practically forced me to take a slice of cake home. You just wanted to set me up.”

  Trixi pulled her pleading eyes toward Ida Belle. “You don’t believe this, do you?”

  Ida Belle clenched her jaw. “You knew what was in the tea and you kept trying to get me to drink it. Lucky for me the coffeepot broke and you brought me the sweet tea instead. I would never have taken a sip. Mindy makes the worst sweet tea in town.”

  “What?” Mindy said.

  “It’s true, Mindy,” Gertie said. “You’re the only Southern gal I know who can’t make a decent sweet tea. The rest of us just drink it to be polite.”

  Ida Belle stood. “Not being polite just saved my life.” She had fire in her eyes as she hurled herself at Trixi. It took both Gertie and me to pull the two of them apart. I held onto Ida Belle as Gertie, Bea and Edilia restrained Trixi.

  “Why?” Ida Belle asked. “What did I ever do to you?”

  “She wanted to get you out of the way so she could have Walter,” Gertie said.

  “Walter?” Ida Belle said. “He doesn’t even like you.”

  Trixi’s face exploded in anger. She tried to squirm free. “He could have loved me if not for you! You don’t deserve him! You treat him so unfairly, stringing him along like you do! All these years I’ve tried to find a man like him, but no man has measured up. When I heard you died, I thought he would finally be free to settle down with someone. Someone who would appreciate him! But no! You were still alive! Why couldn’t you have been the one dying and not Marge! You don’t deserve Walter’s love, Ida Belle!”

  Sobbing, Trixi hung her head. The rest of the ladies stood in stunned silence until the quiet was broken by th
e ding from Madigan’s timer as it signaled the end of the club meeting. Madigan pressed the button on the toy train.

  Whoo-whoo

  Chugga-chugga-chugga

  Madigan cleared her throat. “The Sinful Express is now pulling into the station. We hope you’ve had a pleasant journey and will be riding with us again soon. This is your engineer, Madigan DuBerry, NOT a murderer by the way, signing off.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  SHERIFF LEE ESCORTED Trixi out of the community room in handcuffs. Deputy Breaux held a liquid sample jar (into which he had poured Ida Belle’s sweet tea) and another evidence bag which held Ida Belle’s glass.

  Deputy Breaux puffed his chest out. “Well, ladies, looks like we caught the person who poisoned Miss Anna, so you can all breathe easy tonight.”

  “YOU caught her?” Mindy said, laughing. “Fortune and Gertie caught her.”

  I glanced over at Cookie, who had since returned to the room. She gave me a subtle shake of her head.

  “Well, we did have help.”

  “Kelp?” Cookie shouted. “She had kelp?”

  “Help, Mama!” Delphine shouted back. “She had help not kelp! Would you please turn up your hearing aid!”

  We noticed Lucy and Celia huddled together as we made our way toward the doors of the library. They broke apart when they saw us.

  Lucy stepped forward. “Word is that Anna is out of her induced coma and on the road to recovery.”

  “Glad to hear it,” Gertie said. “When she’s fully recovered, send her on over to us so we can set her straight on blackmailing a certain young library assistant.”

  “What?” Lucy asked.

  Ida Belle flicked her head toward Celia. “You should ask Celia about that one. Seems it was her idea.”

  Celia’s eyes widened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “The hell you don’t,” I said. “In your zeal to find out information on me, you and Anna teamed up to pressure Madigan to work for you and break into my house. That toothbrush she took? It was Carter’s. You might want to ask his permission before you have it tested.”

  “What’s this all about, Celia?” Lucy asked.

  “They’re lying, of course,” Celia said.

  We left as Celia tried her best to convince Lucy of her innocence. As the three of us descended the library steps, I heard the door open behind us.

  “Wait!” It was Madigan. “I just wanted to thank you for leading the book club and helping us all solve The Mystery of the Baked Potato. And...” She took a deep breath, “today I saw myself in forty years and I didn’t like what I saw. I think it’s time I delete all the photos of prototype men—”

  “Carter,” I said, correcting her. “Unless there are other men you followed around...”

  Madigan blushed. “I lived in New Orleans for two years. Let’s not go there.”

  I nodded.

  “I’m just going to let Grover be Grover.”

  Gertie reached out and touched Madigan’s shoulder. “Good for you, Madigan.”

  “Although, if you could tell me where Carter buys his jeans, I’d appreciate it. Because they hug him so nicely, if you know what I mean.”

  I shook my head. “No, Madigan. Just... no.”

  She shrugged. “Thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Well, I have to get back to work.”

  Ida Belle watched Madigan leave and shook her head. “How could I have missed that Trixi was in love with Walter?”

  Gertie shrugged. “Walter didn’t want you to know.”

  “He knew she was in love with him?”

  Gertie nodded. “She threw herself at him every time she came back to Sinful. Especially after every man she wrangled into marrying her divorced her or died. Which if you ask me, opens up a whole new investigation.”

  We crossed the street and headed toward Francine’s. After a morning like today, we’d earned a slice of pie. Ida Belle stopped as we approached the General Store and stood for a moment, as if trying to decide whether to go inside or continue walking.

  Gertie gazed at her old friend a moment. “You could use some laundry detergent.”

  “My laundry detergent is half full.”

  Gertie rolled her eyes. “Which means it’s also half empty. What if you have a laundry emergency?”

  Ida Belle considered her logic. “Better get some, then.”

  Walter stood behind the register, leaning forward with his elbows on the counter, chatting on his cellphone. He waved as we entered. “The girls are here now. I’ll fill them in. Okay, I’ll let her know.”

  Walter hung up and laid the phone on the counter. He looked at me. “That was Carter. He’s coming back from his fishing trip early because of Trixi. He said he’s been in touch with Church Point police. They’re interested in talking to Trixi about some mysterious deaths the past three years. He told me to tell you he’ll stop by tonight.”

  “Thanks.”

  Ida Belle stepped up to the counter. “We were heading to Francine’s, but I realized I needed laundry detergent.”

  “Laundry detergent?” he asked. “Didn’t you just buy some a couple weeks ago?”

  “It’s half empty,” Gertie said defensively. “Since when do you ration laundry detergent?”

  “Since never. The lady wants laundry detergent, I’ll get her some laundry detergent.” Walter came out from behind the counter and strode to the household-goods aisle. He picked up a container and brought it to the counter. “Really wild about Trixi.” His eyes reddened as he looked in Ida Belle’s eyes. “When I think about how close she came to killing you...” He pulled in a deep breath. “I never would have forgiven myself.”

  “Not your fault. You didn’t know she was capable of murder.” Ida Belle pretended to examine the detergent box. “Why didn’t you tell me she was in love with you, Walter?”

  “Because it wasn’t important. At least I didn’t think it was important. Now I know better. I didn’t feel anything for her, so I didn’t see the need to mention it.”

  “Fair enough. She said something that got me thinking, though.”

  “Yeah? What was that?”

  “She said I was being unfair to you.”

  Ida Belle ran her hand along the top of the detergent box. He placed his hand over hers. “I’d like to remind you that she tried to kill you today. So I’d take anything she said with a grain of salt.”

  “Still... I know there’ve been women interested in you throughout the years. You could have been married, had some kids, grandkids. Had a nice life.”

  He reached out and caressed her shoulder. “I have a nice life. Would I have liked to have been married to you the past forty years? Yes, I would have. But then you wouldn’t have been you.”

  She clenched her jaw. “I just want you to know that if you do find a woman you fall for... then...” She pulled in a deep breath. “Then...”

  Walter held up his hand. “I already have and she’s standing right in front of me.”

  “Not even Opal Rogers?” Gertie asked. “She’s a looker.”

  Ida Belle and Walter turned and stared at Gertie.

  “I mean, if you’re a man,” Gertie said. “Which Walter is.”

  Ida Belle raised her brows.

  “Except for that annoying laugh of hers that always ends in a hiccup,” Gertie said quickly. “Where are your candy bars?”

  “Candy aisle, where they always are,” Walter said. “Why don’t you go check them out?”

  “Will do.” Gertie dashed into the candy aisle. I followed her. We pretended to read the candy labels while keeping our ears open.

  “Look,” Walter said, “have I found some women I could settle down with? Maybe. But if I’d gotten married to another woman, then I’d have cheated on her every day. Because every day I think of you.”

  I never considered myself a romantic, but at that moment I felt my heart melt. I looked over and Gertie was wiping a tear from her eye.

  “And, if I’d been married,” he con
tinued, “you and I could never have... you know... gotten... together as much as we have over the years.”

  “What does he mean by that?” I whispered to Gertie.

  “What do you think he means?” she whispered back. “You and Carter aren’t the only ones with toothbrushes at each other’s houses.”

  I started to whisper “holy crap” but Gertie shushed me with a finger to her lips.

  “You have a point,” Ida Belle said.

  “Maybe you’d like to stay a bit and we can discuss this further.”

  “Hmmm,” she answered.

  She suddenly appeared at the front of the candy aisle. “I might be a little while here. We’re going to discuss a few things.”

  “Half hour’s all you need?” Gertie asked.

  Ida Belle nodded. “Thereabouts.”

  “Make it an hour,” Walter called out.

  Gertie nodded. “Come on, Fortune, we’ll go grab a table.”

  “And miss the good stuff?” I whispered.

  “Shame on you,” Gertie whispered back as she grabbed my arm and ushered me to the door, turning the “open” sign to “closed.” “They need their privacy. Don’t be such a snoop.”

  We left the store and closed the door behind us.

  “I’ll remember that the next time you pester me to tell you the intimate details between Carter and me.”

  “Oh hush,” Gertie said. “There’s a spot on the side of the building where the walls thin out. Great for eavesdropping.”

  The door opened and Ida Belle stood holding her nine-millimeter. “And unless you want your ear blown off, I’d think twice about going to that spot on the side of the building.”

  She closed the door and we heard the lock turn.

  Gertie turned to me. “Lunch?”

  I gestured toward Francine’s. “After you.”

  THE END

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